We often hear phrases and cliches like: time is of the essence, time is money, take your time, it wasn’t the right time, don’t waste time. In this last season of my life, I was hearing those phrases quite often, so I got to thinking about time. I tried to looked at time from God’s angle, and I found in my brief peak, that time is an illusion.
Time– noun| the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
Many things have surfaced in my life as it relates to time. The first, my relationships, I may have really wanted to be in a or working toward a relationship with a potential mate, and yet each time I offer my feelings, time rejects the idea. One gentleman for example, I have been quite fond of for years, when I finally confessed my feelings, he told me he was now in a relationship and my “timing was off”. I thought, hmmm, that is an interesting phrase seeing as I thought timing was also a factor that contributed to the failure of my last relationship.
Second, I have many, many goals. When I explain my visions to my mentors, I often get the “that’s a lot” side-eye, Yet, When I look back at my old journals, all I see are goals I wanted to accomplish, but did not. Why weren’t they completed? For starters, I allowed the desire for relationships to distract me, as you have read previously. Nonetheless, in true fashion, I went into a panic. I almost had a panic attack when I read my journals from last year. I went off thinking: “I should have accomplished this, this, and this by now. I’m 23 and I’m wasting time. I can’t model or participate in pageants when I’m old. I need to be settling down soon because I have eggs that need to be fertilized.” I was just trippin. Then, this happens.
It has always been my goal to participate in one more pageant. I love them. I get to wear a pretty dress on stage. I get to get all glamours and wear a lot of make up and fake eyelashes (I don’t really get into it on a regular, so pageant season is my time to shine). I get to meet new people. I get to share my ideas. I have an excuse to buy a new dress. Two years ago, I was getting in position to compete in a state pageant, yet something held me back from it. Another task caught my interest before I could go through with it. I walked away from the idea for years. Two years later, the state pageant calls fervently. “We would like to know if you would consider competing this year?” Here I am thinking, nah I’m good homie, the time isn’t right, and neither is my money, for I did not have the registration fee, cuz I just moved and I have a thing called bills that ruin my life. People expect me to pay for essential things that God already gave me for free like shelter, food, and water, but I digress. Something in my spirit said, “oh, no, now is the time to compete, for you now have the life experience and lifestyle conducive to what your duties would be in the event you win” I go, “okay God, but where’s the money for registration?” Something says, “check this old account.” I go look at this account I thought was as dry as castor oil-less edges, and what exists in it other than the money to register for the pageant.
Break it down, B:
Anyone who knows me knows, knows, I cannot stand time. It’s too much pressure. I like to move with spirit. Yes, I am an advocate for CPT time. Nobody rushes the sun or the moon! “This has to be done now, this can’t wait.” Pish-posh! While there is a time to plant and a time to gather (Ecclesiastes 3:2) and certain tasks do need to be completed at certain moments, God is not sitting amongst us talmbout, at 10:00am on Tuesday morning Ima bless you. No more than we can schedule our evolution and growth. No more than we can determine on our own when it is a good time to involve ourselves with someone or something. See in my past season, I learned the universe has a plan working, and my schedule and the creator’s schedule will not always mesh, for God does not know time. God is the creator of time. We, as human’s can not and will not understand how God’s time operates. All we can do with time is use it to MEASURE our growth, for as I looked back at the ideas and strifes I was faced with in my old journals, I realized I have indeed grown so much as a person. Time was my tool of measurement, for I can clearly read how I am not the same person once was. Lastly, when God does decide to put wheels in motion, the time is always perfect.
The moral of the story is, chill. It is okay, if you have not built that fortune 500 company the year after you graduated from college. It is okay, if your rap career hasn’t popped off yet. It’s okay if you haven’t traveled the world yet. It’s okay you did not graduate on time. It’s okay that you are not married with children and you are approaching 30. It’s okay because God has a perfect plan, and it is working according to his/her time which we just agreed can not be understood by (wo)man.
- Worry will age you. Worry will put time all over your face. Yikes.
- Living freely means moving at the pace your spirit sets.
- Time does not exist in the eyes of the creator.
Say: Time works for me.
“The world is mine when I wake up. I don’t need nobody telling me the time.”
be light. work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic..