When faith wavers…

Good people, last week was very difficult for myself. I like to consider myself a spiritual being with a strong relationship with the creator, yet even in my strengthen relationship, I have moments when my faith wavers. Last week, I got mad. I was sad. I had made myself a victim of wavering faith because I chose, briefly, not to trust God and I was miserable. So what happens when your faith waver? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Can it be restored into fruitfulness? Absolutely!

Waver– verb| 1. shake with a quivering motion. 2. become unsteady or unreliable. 3.be undecided between two opinions or courses of action; be irresolute


A while back God had revealed a promise to me. The situation associated with the promise–excuse me for being evasive, I need to keep somethings between the big G and myself–will prove to yield great joy and success. Yet, in present  day, my reality looks like the complete opposite of the promise. As a result, last week I was hurt. I literally broke down, and yelled “God you said this was suppose to happen, but it does not look the way you said it would.” Its funny as I type this I think of spiritual warriors like Peter, Noah, and Job, who also had their faith tested, but I digress. In my moment of grief, I was desperate for confirmation. I was desperate to see, read, feel, or visualize God’s promise to me. It did not come. So, I grew madder. In hindsight, I know God must have been laughing at me for those few days. I was miserable. I could not understand why God would take me through such turmoil. I just wanted a sign that the promise was either still in effect or had been changed, so I could put my mind on other things. The interesting thing is God does not care about your time. Sometimes prayer on demand works, most times it does not. I am learning that patience is key (God promised me I would learn patience in this season, but sheesh I did not know it would be this hard. Then again, when is anything good ever easy?)

So, how did I overcome this low moment? For starters I prayed, angrily, but a prayer nonetheless. I whimpered. I got all my feels and concerns out verbally and in written format– I needed to make sure God got the whole picture of my strife, after all s/he is the ultimate healer. Next, I had to mediate on her/his words(Psalm 1:1-2). I had to read and listen to what God had to say and accept it. Next, I had to remember that the creator is indeed my rock and my source.(1 Cor 10:4) I had to reflect and take a moment to recall all of the moments in my life when my decisions could have led to a more horrible outcome than they did, but I was shielded. I had to recall many moments when I had been saved from a great level of harm. I had to remember the past times God came through when I asked and when I did not. I had to accept the fact I follow and serve a God for a reason. Once I had begun to restore my faith, in true, mysterious fashion, the Lord came through once again. I had been led to engage in conversations with great women from my former life, and the conversations yielding great memories, reflections of growth, and confirmation. It was so funny, I literally walked into being ministered to and had my promise reaffirmed twice in one 24 hour span. Lastly, I had to accept that God will always be available to guide, love, and provide for me, even when I get impatient because I don’t understand(John 7:38).

Break it down, B:

See the thing is  I had to accept Lord is Lord, I may not get everything, not even reassurance, the moment I want it; however, God is still my source and light that lives inside. That light must be believed in no matter the matter. God knows our faith is going to waver. S/he knows we are human and sometimes we walk by sight, so s/he does not judge. S/he loves and comes through to help restore our peace regardless.

So next time your faith wavers–because it will, remember salvation is a journey not a destination boo,boo–DO NOT leave God, thinking you can go through life without the light. Otherwise…its dark and you can’t see.(Jeremiah 2:13). DO pray and talk to God about your concerns. DO remember the good times. DO believe. DO trust the light inside you. DO return to your place of peace.


  1. Patience is a MAJOR key.
  2. Church attendance will put you on those good scriptures at the right time.
  3. God is love.

Pay Homage:

“If your dream is big enough, you can live through any nightmare.”- Superintendent Otis Lockett Jr.

Salute: Put your faith back on. YASSS. that faith is on fleek. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Don’t hurt em’

be light. Work your talents. together we can spark a light pandemic.