I just had another epiphany. So, I was bugging, yet again. Trying to be superwoman. Trying to go above and beyond to be perfect. Attempting to live life by a plan. Trying to live my life in a box, yet every single time I fret about not existing in that box, God shows me because I was meant to live outside of a box, my life will always prove to be unpredictable.
unpredictable– adjective| not able to be predicted.
So here I am,
I was out of work for a few days due to the snow. Day one: I took it as an extended vacation. I got some reading done. I journaled a little bit. I cleaned out my closet, and further prepared my creative room for greatness, but I did not do any “heavy” projects. Day two:(and I’m about to reveal my crazy) I call up an old friend about business advice and erratically reveal to her in a slight panic how I feel like I’m not getting anything done. Exclaiming without any evidence that my brand and business is falling apart before it lifts off the ground because I am not practicing yoga daily, and I’m not drinking 5 gallons or water everyday, I am not writing everyday, I’m not reading enough everyday, I’m not stressing about teacher work, I am not spending an hour a day with God, I am not knocking on wood three times before I leave the house –just ridiculousness. I’m bugging.
The thing is, I am an extreme over achiever, and if someone does not stop me I will overthink and plan my way into a frenzy–for no reason at all. So, day three; which was an optional teacher workday, I finally get up at 5:00am without the help of an alarm clock. I work on some upcoming projects. I handle some business for graduate school. I go to the school and stock my new library for my students and unload some supplies I inherited. I get a mani-pedi. I take myself on a date to Da Raggae Cafe, and all is well in the world. I go grocery shopping. I come home, relax a little bit, rehearse some poems, then boom, I am hit with the whole concept for my next poetry album. When I get done writing it all down I think to myself: wait a minute, a got a lot done in the past few days, and it came easy.
Break it down, B:
I know I am not the only worrisome, over thinker in the world. I know it. I know it. I know it. I also recognize, there may be some people reading that feel like hey..hit some yak and chill, it ain’t never gon’ be that deep (lol). Yet, for my overanalyzing, overachieving, over-stressin’ sistahs and brothahs, let me just say you are not alone. In fact I think we need a support group. The slogan should be: you’re panicking for nothing. I say that because, in essence, we get more done than we think. We should take a moment to breathe, and recognize that we should not focus on the things we do not get done, and celebrate the things that we do. Besides, life is ever changing. The only thing we can count on to take place in our lives is change. We can make plans, but we are not in charge. And nine times out of ten, what the creator puts in place is always greater than what we had in mind. Unpredictability can be good.
SO, let’s try this: instead of making a to do list, let’s make a outline for the idk…a week, then at the end of each day write out a “did-list”. The “did-list” will list all of the things we do accomplish in a day. I’m theorizing that if we flip the perspective, and look at the task-list “half full,” we will feel more satisfied with ourselves. After all, if we are working for the creator which I am sure we are, our steps are ordered. Because we do live for God, life and productive tasks happens better than we could have planned with or without the added self-inflicted pressure.Therefore, there is no need to stress. God is the best. And so, some things cannot be planned. Life just simply has to be lived. (Matthew 6:34)
“Take life how it comes. Everything you need will come to you.”-Shaquille Martin
Say: I am open to what the universe provides.
be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.