A few weeks ago I wrote the following words to God. “Help me to walk in forgiveness. Help me to understand the art of loving through difficult times and undesired actions. Help me to walk in my own forgiveness, for regret has burdened me for too long.” And so, after I asked this of my creator, the next few weeks were full of thoughts and necessary action steps in order to overcome this hill.
forgive– verb| stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
I’m an in a space now where I am learning to love myself more and more and more. It is beautiful, for there was a time when emptiness and confusion ruled my life. In this new space of, “salvation” and prosperity, I am learning that even when we feel we are now flying and living in our purposes, our wings and hearts may still be burdened with heartache and hints of bitterness may show themselves at the most inconvenient times. In this space, I recognized the issue was I had not fully and truly forgiven the people in the past whom have offended me. More importantly, I did not forgive myself for my own mistakes.
Not forgiving others led to resentment, unexplained anger, and unlawful bitterness. Most importantly not forgiving myself for the mistakes I made before I chose to learn myself led to guilt and feeling the need to overcompensate in the present. Overcompensation essentially led to exhaustion and spiritual disconnect. I found myself over exerting positive energy and working extra hard in order to cover the embarrassing blemishes left from my regret. Neither circumstance was a positive one, so I set out to understand this “forgiveness” thing.
I found that forgiveness is truly the answer to many mental and physical ailments and hardened hearts. I found such to be true in this bible story. So I was reading Mathew chapter 9, and learned that Jesus healed a paralytic by empowering him the power to forgive. After receiving that authority, as a man, bruh was then able to rise–Jesus had told him to–and he was healed. He was able to walk. Originally his body was burdened with disease. In this brief passage Jesus did not lay hands on him, he didn’t pull out any holy oils–he simply said,”your sins are forgiven”, and gave him the authority to also forgive;then, he was able to rise.
Break it down, B:
First, we all have the responsibility to forgive others for their transgressions, the same way God has forgiven us. I had to think, boy back in my bitter days, I know I won’t shit. I was gossiping Gabby, petty LaBelle, and frugal Freddie. I also abused my body in order to fill a void when I knew I should have been waiting for marriage, but God has forgiven me for my many mistakes, and the proof lies in fact God is now aiding me in the process of becoming better. The creator did not have to forgive, but s/he did. So who am I, who are we, not to forgive others for the mistakes they make before or even after they begin to love themselves or the creator? I’ll tell you, not a got damn nobody.
Secondly, forgiveness is a huge proponent of this self-love thing. Until you forgive yourself for your past mistakes and regrets, you won’t completely love who you are. After you forgive you, you can than accept yourself for the amazing person you are flaws and all, passed fucked up mistakes and all. From there, with this new air of forgiveness, you’ll have more room to love up on yaself. Furthermore, forgiveness will allow your burdens to be loosed from your mind, heart, and soul, so you can fly free from heartache–new and restored.
- Self-love is work, but it’s worth it.
- Forgiveness gives you wings.
- You are forgiven.
And it was then I knew that the healing
of all our wounds
that permits a promise of our return
at the end.
An excerpt from the poem, Forgiveness, by Alice Walker
be light. Work your talents. together we can spark a light pandemic.