Defining: Healthy Relationships

Well, it is Valentines day..whoop..whoop. Today is the commercial day of love. For those folks in relationships it is exciting, because hennything can happen. And for those whom are not in relationships you all either A. can’t wait for the day to be over or B. also have exciting plans. All that is cute, yet on my journey I desire a healthy relationship, and when all that lovey-dovey stuff comes later, I’ll appreciate it more. First, I feel it is necessary to outline the type of relationship I want on my next go round as well as prepare myself for it because I don’t want the universe throwing me the rift-raft, again.

healthy– adjective| in good health

health-noun| the state of being free from illness or injury


Last year, I went to visit my tarot card reader, and he said something that has resonated in my heart. And I quote, “a healthy relationship is two WHOLE people walking in their own paths together.” I walked out feeling empowered with that piece of information.  The word whole means, entire. However, in my past I cannot think of one situation of which I was following that definition. The relationships in my past were truly unhealthy. My past relationships were characterized by attachment, lack of communication, unfaithful critters, and two damaged folks trying to find refugee with each other, or in some cases other people while the “relationship” was in place. Oh, the trouble I’ve seen.

I for one, used to use the relationships to fill a void in my life. Often times, I would rely on these relationships to be my source of entertainment and self-esteem. I used to feel like if I was not working or with with my “man” I was losing. Oh, there was also a relationship of which my life, goals, and desires were completed subsided so that I could always be present to support my beau on his endeavors. Those were the days I lost myself. So often did I lose grip of ,Britney, in order to grab hold of a love that always seemed like it could slip out of my hands at any moment. There was no security. I’ve been in situations were I had to slap a boy. I remember being dragged out of a car, spying on side chicks at 1:00 in the morning, going through cell phones, completely losing touch with myself in order to be there for my man. Those were the weak bitch days, I’m so glad to have over come unhealthy attachments and getting back to myself, but aye God did all dat.

Break it down, B:

Again, a healthy relationship is two whole people walking in their individual paths together. This is actually more like a partnership. In my idea situation, I am building and living in my purpose and my partner is building and walking in his divine purpose. Yet, we walk, love, and support each other along the way.

Here’s the gotcha: you must be a WHOLE individual person in order to achieve this healthy partnership. One must also know his or her purpose. These are the important components of a successful relationship. Otherwise somebody is compromising themselves. Otherwise somebody is looking to the other person to fill a hole. Otherwise somebody is looking for constant validation from the other person. Otherwise when the love is lost somebody falls completely apart. Otherwise unhealthy attachments form and somebody is getting dragged out of car, but I digress.

The money questions are: 

What is a whole person?

How does one become whole?

A whole person is a person who has joy while walking in their own paths oozing love of self from their pores. This person’s aura shines so bright, onlookers need to wear sunglasses just to see his or her inner and outer glow. This person knows what they want to accomplish in life and is working toward it, diligently.

One becomes whole, however, through, and only through the love and light of God that lives inside us all–PLOT TWIST for dat ass.(2 Timothy 1:14)  Think about it. Are you looking for companionship, or are you looking for someone to complete you? Are you looking for a partner, or are you looking for someone to appease you insecurities? Well either way, there is a love and a light that already lives inside. It was not until I starting yearning and operation on the notion that God loves me and lives as a part of my spirit did I learn to enjoy my alone time, find my purpose, and begin to live a fulfilled life. With that said, the basis of a healthy relationship is God. Both participating parties must have a relationship with God in order to be whole. Both participating parities must be equally yoked. Both participating parties have to be willing and ready to utilize God as their individual and collective foundation in order to ensure a healthy partnership. God and spirit must be at the center of yourself first, and your relationship later, for when life and oppositional forces work to fight against a healthy union, it is only God that will help triumph. However, it is the work of the individual that brings God at the center of the union.


  1. God is love.
  2. A healthy relationship requires two WHOLE people.
  3. The creator must be at center of life.

Pay homage:

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou

Salute: Love songs always sound like they were written about God.

be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.