I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends about the nuances, facets, and implications of dating in this era. I cannot seem to get away from these heartfelt conversations, but I’m not mad because they fill be with vigor and vitality. For example, after this conversation with my friend, I was left with the personal affirmation: “I’m Everything.”
Everything: pronoun| all things; all the things of a group or class 2. the current situation; life in general
Recently, I got my feelings hurt behind a male. I was talking to my friend about everything that has happened and what the occurrences imply. Then, she brings up a situation in her life that was very similar to mine. The story is simple. Girl meets boy. Boy and girl flirt around. Girl gets excited. Boy becomes aloof. Girl is confused and hurt. Boy acts like he don’t understand. Girl, finally, let’s go. As we are talking, initially, I was feeling doubtful of my own goodness. I was not believing in the fact I’m great and the undertones in the conversation reflected such. Sure, I was agreeing with the pep talk my friend was giving me about men, but spiritually I did not feel good. I have a tendency to allow the actions and behaviors of those I care about or deemed worthy to determine my feelings about myself. I’m sensitive, and so when people do not treat me according to my own self image, briefly, I allow those actions to determine my self-worth. But, soon she snaps out of the self-doubt trance. As the conversation continues to grow, I was then filled with a large burst of confidence.
The next thing I know, I’m saying phrases like: “He wants me. He may not know he wants me, but he wants a woman like me. I’m nurturing, kind, funny, super intelligent. Free thinking and free-spirited. I have enough personalities to keep him on his toes. He’ll fall in love with my way with children. I’m sassy. I’m funny. I’m crazy. I’m fun. I’m out-going. I’m loyal. I’m sexy. I’m Everything.” My next statement was: And because I am everything I require all or nothing at all. The affirmation “I’m Everything” was liberating and reassuring at the same, same time.
Break it down, B:
First of all, how often do we hear or see images that suggest Black women are this and that. For instance, “Black women are extra.” “Black women are ghetto” “Black women want too much.” “Black women have an attitude problem.” “Black women ain’t shit.” “Black women are crazy.” “Black women are promiscuous” Or the contrast. “Black women are sexy.” “Black women are nurturing.” “Black women have healing powers.” “Black women know how to rear children.” “Black women can cook the best.””Black women are tasty.” “Black women hold you down.” “Black women are the leading demographic whom holds college degrees.” “Black women are the shit.” “The Black women is god.” Bitch–the Black woman is everything. She is the best example of complex multiplicity. She is all of the things listed above and a little bit more. She is the most beautiful walking oxymoron you’ll never understand. And for that reason she has every right to be picky. She has every right to want it all because she is exactly that: it all.
Secondly, as I continued to think about my situation, I was led to think: I am pretty much the whole shit. I wrote a poem a very long time ago of which the following words feature: “She’s the muthafuckin one. Not the one for fun, but the one for the long run. So if you ain’t conditioned, get the fuck off the track field/ practice jumping hurdles/ get your heart rate up and yield to get ready for the heaven she brings.” (See OG) After the “I’m Everything” affirmation, I finally understood what those lines meant. Because I am so great, amazing, and everything, I deserve any man’s best effort I am golden..oh, so golden…and lightly so. I am the sun that will brighten any one man’s, woman’s, or child’s life. I am so divine, so ethereal, and loving simultaneously. I am wise due to my old spirit, and spontaneous like the youth. I am everything. I carry heaven within my spirit, and with credentials such as those anyone whom does not understand, recognize, or act accordingly needs to get off my track field.
With all that said, sis. You are not extra. You are not too much. You might be crazy, but that sounds like fun. You are beautiful. You are compelling. You are inspiring. You are amazing. You is kind. You is smart. And you is important. Do not allow someone’s or this jacked up patriarchal society’s failure to see your everything-ness allow you to become filled with doubt or uncertainty.
Say: I’m Everything.
I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended
except by my permission
from Ego Trippin by Nikki Giovanni
Salute: Rest in Peace Aunty Whitney.
Be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.
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