Guide to a Healthy Relationship: Be sure to Run a Spiritual Background Check

We have “”, “”, “” and more.  We have our faithful group of homegirls who could moonlight as private investigators because all you have to do is mention bruh name, and they will identify a minimum of three of his last girlfriends, his occupation, income, fraternity and line number if applicable, previous GPA, credit score, and damn near his social security number in less than two hours. We also have all of those good ole social media sites to investigate the quality of potential partners, but we do not have any application that will help us evaluate the spiritual quality of potential mates. No. No. We have to learn to run those spiritual background checks before embarking on serious partnerships.

Background-noun|the area or scenery behind the main object of contemplation, especially when perceived as a framework for it.


I’m just going to dive in here today. In my past, I thought, if you hit this twice, we go together. If there was a suitor who had a personality I was intrigued with and a physique I was specifically infatuated with, I was going in. Period. I want this man to be my husband and baby father right now. The issue was, however, he could have been fine, but the quality of his heart and spirit, I had not known. Yet and still, I wanted to build relationships out of nothing.

Break it down, B:

In my past, when a guy seemed to have all of the attributes I wanted on the surface, I was quick to build a life with him in my head. I knew he was who I wanted no matter the matter. Unfortunately, that type of thinking led me to toxic relationships. These relationships caused me to gain traumas as well as growth in areas I would not have otherwise had. On the contrary, these moments could have been escaped if I had been more concerned with understanding the spiritual substances that made up the man in question. I should have gone deep. We have to go deep. This may cause us to delay acting on our natural impulse. Instead this time will allow us the space to review the quality of man behind the penis.

Well Bird, what does a spiritual background check look like? I’m so glad you asked, let me tell you. First, the bible says not to join with non-believers. (1 Corinthians 6:14). The fact is real. We cannot develop healthy relationships with men and or women who do not have the same values we do. It will not work. Someone will fall off the spiritual wagon. So ask the man/or woman: does s/he believe in the same God, universe, Allah, Buddha, or the creator you do? Question his spiritual beliefs and relationship with God. After all marriage is not easy. It will take some talking to God behind your partner’s back to make it work, but the idea of having God as the foundation in your marriage will be wasted if s/he does not read from the same book.

Second, question those core values and code of ethics. Ask dat negro, or otherwise what does it mean to be faithful or loyal? Why is it important to be faithful and loyal? Do you have severe emotional damage which leads you to serial cheat? On God, that may be the realist question, but I digress. What does s/he wish to gain from this relationship in the long term? What do you want out of life? Mah dude, what is your credit score? We can’t build empires if his or her credit is effed up, but I digress–again.

You may not be able to get all of the answers to your personal spiritual background check over 2 for 20, drinks, or baecations. Ultimately, we have to watch the actions of our potential partners, for actions will always speak louder than words. Nonetheless, it is your responsibility as the selector to determine what you want or do not want in your partner and/or in your life; then, closely monitor if your potential Bae meets those qualifications.

At the end of the day, JUST funny, good looking, good dick dudes are no longer winning. A positive spiritual background must be included. We out here trying to be great. Seriously, all my bishes are working diligently to level up spiritually, financially, mentally, physically, artistically, and otherwise, so gone are the days where we waste our time with spiritually lost, blind and toxic men. We have been there and done that. Now, we are trying to build on strong foundations, and there is no stronger foundation than a man’s spirit.

Pay Homage:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


  1. We out here tryna function in 2018.
  2. #charactermatters.
  3. Unequally yoked partnerships won’t work.

Salute: “Top notch ________ get the most not the lesser.”

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