Why I Stopped Holding on to the Past

Hey, ya’ll, hey. Have you ever found yourself holding on to some experiences, mindsets, or moments from the past? Be that positive experiences you attempt to live over again, or negative experiences that haunt you in the present. I raise my hand silently because, in truth, that was me holding on to past experiences both positive and negative, but I learned to stop holding on to the past in order to make space for a beautiful present and worthwhile future.

Past- adj| gone by in time and no longer existing.


I found myself haunted by past experiences. I had a tendency to hold on to less than desirable moments in history with others. In fact, I began to create walls in my present because I had been holding on to negative experiences in my past. I remembered and held on thinking recalling would help me not make the same mistakes or fall into the same situation. Yet, in reality, I realized holding on to those memories did more harm than good. They became toxic memories that turned into excuses for why I could not enjoy my present–my gift.

Break it Down, B:

We’ve all been there. Something bad happens and we never want to forget. Something in the past did not happen and we wish it did, so we hold on. Something good happened, so we attempt to live in that space for as long as we can bare it. Experiencing all three instances, I realized, these methods of dealing with the past are not the healthiest. In fact, holding on to the past, actually hinders our present, our future and growth. Below are four reasons, why I decided to break that habit.

  1. Holding on to the past weighs us down. Yes, yes. Bad memories or otherwise, keeping all of those moments in your mind and within your being becomes baggage and weight that keep you from reaching your full potential. Ultimately, we are go getters, winners, and trend setters. We want more out of life. We dare to reach our fullest potential. Yet, when we hold on to the weight of the past, our ability to fly becomes weakened.
  2. It causes us to recycle old mindsets. We want to be women of growth and progress. On the contrary, when we hold on to the past, we are also holding on to the mindsets that governed those past moments. There is no newness or growth, if we keep referring to the past even in our new gift–the present.
  3. Holding on to the past wastes new time. Each new second, minute, hour, and day is valuable. The new time gives us the opportunity to go for more, do more, and experience more. Unfortunately, when we hold on to the past, we waste the new time reminiscing on the old. Keeping our focus on the old keeps us from being able to fully embrace the new.
  4. It keeps you from being open to new blessings. I saw a meme that hit home. It said, “Don’t miss your blessing by being your feelings.” True enough. But I’d take it a step further and say don’t miss your blessing by holding on to the past. And we do. We can get so fixed on something that did or did not happen in the past, we don’t even realize God is blessing us in the current tense. (Ecclesiastes 3:6)

Ultimately, we just have to stop.

There is so much being offered to us in our lives right now. We have new opportunities to take hold of. We have new experiences to feel. We have new blessings raining down each day. Truly, if we are living and breathing and are able to witness it all, we must be excited and open to see it all. Letting go of the past will surely, put us in the right position to do so.

Pay Homage:

If you wanna fly, you got to give up on the shit that weighs you down.

Toni Morrison


  1. Life is short.
  2. Each new moment is a gift.
  3. Holding on to the past hinders growth.


Thank for reading!

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